literature

Yuki Mission - Last of the Lanterns

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TraceofHatred's avatar
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     I sat alone for once - Normally this time of year, that would be a sin - But not tonight.

     Normally, there would be grand festivities right now. Normally, people would be singing and dancing. 
But not tonight, not the night after the surprise fire attack on Tōrōgakure - during our most sacred tradition.
No, tonight was different. We still released the lanterns, like planned - but not just for those of the past,
not just to remind our long passed ancestors to rest well - but to guide the victims of the fire attack,
so that they might join our ancestors safely in their journey to the great beyond.

     I don't know how I feel about death - or rather - I don't understand it.
I've never had anything taken away from me - not like that anyway, I was pretty sheltered.

     But that night, as I made my rounds, leaping from trees and rooftops to find viewpoints - I felt them.
I could feel the anguish of the people below me. I could see the way loss twisted their faces,
practically squeezing the tears from them as they mourned their loved ones with the launch of lanterns.
Perhaps it was just sickeningly ironic to me to send victims to a fire on their way with a sky full of lanterns,
but I felt uneasy - Almost disturbed even - as I watched the little lights fill the sky, one by one.  

     The more I thought about it - the more I realized it had less to do with an inappropriate send-off,
and more to do with that I was upset. Upset at what? I hadn't lost anything. I don't know.
It was complicated - that I would feel like I lost so much when I lost nothing - literally nothing at all. 
I guess that's kind of how grief is though - it's very contagious. But this was a different kind of grief,
this was sheer, unrelenting sorrow - I had never seen sadness on such a scale in my life.
But somehow I understood - No, that's wrong - I didn't understand how they felt in the slightest,
but I felt compassion for them, sorry for them, but not out of pity - But because I worried for them?
Or maybe it was guilt, because I really didn't understand - All I knew is that I couldn't take it anymore.

     I suppose that's how I ended up here - By myself in the Kitsune woods with my lantern.
It was a quiet night - the exact opposite kind of night it was last night, the night of the attack...
The more I thought about those people I'd seen grieving in the streets and mourning through their windows,
the more I considered myself lucky for not being in such a situation - I was thankful, i guess.
That sounds awful - incredibly awful - but it's true, I was really glad for once I didn't understand.

     I just hope I never have to understand.
Super oooold. :')
© 2014 - 2024 TraceofHatred
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NissaNii's avatar
now he had to understand ;_;